Saturday, January 8, 2011

Milk and Bread

Well, according to Chief Meteorologist Glenn Burns aka minor god in the Southern weather world, snow is headed to Georgia. Mr. Burns and the other lower ranked meteorologists (with a little m) are throwing around words like "significant" and phrases like "WINTER STORM," and we are all supposed to panic and shudder with fear in response. You gotta love a Southern "snow event" (another phrase coined by the meteorology gods). It sends everything into upheaval and causes the most interesting reactions imaginable.

But to give us Southerners the benefit of the doubt here, we're honestly just not used to this kind of weather, so how can anyone expect us to have a normal reaction to it? Oh, yeah, Yankees and Mid-westerners can sit up on their high horses and laugh at how we in Dixieland flinch at the tiniest flake, but let's see y'all deal with smoldering temperatures and a little something called HUMIDITY. Try having it so hot that you lose your breath when you walk outside, or that your makeup melts off your face as you sweat from pores you didn't even know you had. That's right, who's laughing now, America?

The benefit of the doubt aside, however, I do have one very important thing to ask my fellow Southerners. A question that has been nagging at my mind since I was a little girl, and now, as a full grown (while not necessarily grown up) woman, I'm more curious than ever. Why, sweet Southland, why milk and bread?

Anytime any kind of winter weather "event" hits the South all I hear is milk and bread. Milk and bread! Milk and bread! We've got to stock up on milk and bread. No doubt, even as I type, the milk and bread is flying off store shelves as if it were cast in gold. Like these two food stores will hold off an encroaching snow storm, a zombie apocalypse, and my neighbor's viscous German Shepherd without even breaking a sweat. Like these two mystical, magical items hold all the answers to our weather woes. As soon as snow is forecasted, we migrate en masse to the grocery stores and relieve the shelves of their milky and bready burden, settling on them like locusts on a farmer's crops. Oh, the snowmanity!

In all seriousness, why are milk and bread the two items we immediately think to stock up on when snow is looming? What do we think we're going to do with the milk and bread? I guess if all else fails we will have bread to eat and milk to drink, but wouldn't that work just as well with, let's say, chips and water? The mystery is too much for me to solve here, that's for sure.

Less than half of a half-gallon of milk and moldy bread: the Ross version of being prepared.

When I was stocking up on my own items for Snow-pocalypse 2011, I got dry goods, like cereal, chips and salsa, and crackers. If we do indeed get snowed-in, as predicted, and the power goes off, I'm pretty sure milk will spoil, as would anything we'd put on bread to make a sandwich; therefore, my logical conclusion was to not worry with milk and bread and to instead stock up on junk food and soft drinks...the food which is sure to save us all in the end.


  1. God it is refreshing to see someone knows milk is of no use when the power goes out! Yes, coke is proven to be storm proof and so are chips,go smite the snow by putting some on a chip and eat it. Hell maybe freezing over, but that does not mean we can't anger the snow gods.

  2. THANK YOU about the humidity! It made this little Floridian laugh so hard last summer when people up here (Maryland) complained about the humidity and high temperatures. Honey, you know nothing about humidity until you have to take another shower the moment you step outside.

    I never understood the milk and bread thing, either, especially since they're not even typical hurricane-planning staples. Canned goods, non0perishables, Twizzlers, and as much bottled water as you could manage were all you ever needed. ;)

    (Fun "most popular post", by the way!)

  3. This made me laugh. It's not just the south that stocks up one bread and milk when a storm's coming! I grew up in New England and they stock up on it too! I have no idea why. At least up there if you lose electricity you can put the milk outside and it will be fine (unless it freezes...can milk freeze?) I prefered to get other stuff....your list sounds great!

    I camy by from FTLOB fun post day:)

  4. Visiting from for the love of blogs fun post. I hear you about what people think they should stock up on. Although I suppose people don't expect to lose power due to snow? But then again, what do I know, I'm from the midwest. I can not remember a time we lost power in a snow storm (good thing, too, otherwise we'd freeze). One day (normal weather day) I went to the store for milk, bread and eggs and the man who checked me out said you can eat well for a while with just those three things. Maybe that's what your neighbors are thinking?

  5. Stopping by from FTLOB fun post. I have lived in both climates and I agree that if you're not used to the weather that's headed your way, you're going to panic (i'm mostly talking about city officials :P )
    But yes, you are so right. Milk and bread? Well, you can subsist on snow if need be, at least for your *hydration* needs...and i love your idea of chips! Non-perishable, no can opener needed. It's perfect!


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