Skip Me Over

Single White Female Seeks No One. Because I don't need anyone. Least of all, do I need you, flipping through these ads, looking for a cheap one-night stand, or whatever it is you're looking for. I’ll tell you what you’re looking for: Not Me. Not Me cause I’m independent, bull-headed, opinionated, strong-willed, dramatic, hard-to-handle.Your worst nightmare.

I like cats and books about ghosts. And tables. I have the strangest affinity for tables. Take me to an antique store, and I'll find a table I must have. Guaranteed. It'll be my downfall. I'll go into debt buying tables and hoarding them. You see, I'm neurotic in some of the worst and the best ways.

I’m Not Easy. I’m selfish and self-absorbed, constantly looking for ways to make your life miserable, or that’s what you’d end up thinking, so skip me over. Don’t dial me up. Check out Britney three ads down instead. She likes to be used. She enjoys being bossed around and dinner at cheap Italian restaurants. She’ll be your doll, all dressed up and perfect, while I’m in jeans and a t-shirt, hair sticking out every which way, crooked teeth, no tan. Britney’s better for you anyway. Y’all match. You look good together. You make a handsome couple. She suits you. It’s true. Plus, she’s easy, and I’m not. I’m anything but. I will complicate your life to no end, but if you can handle me, if you can handle a little bit of crazy and a little bit of mean. If you can handle a complex girl, with a complex complexion (cause I do get zits, man), who’s anything but easy, then I’m worth it. I’m your girl.

But if not, don't waste my time or your's. Just skip me over.

Everyone else has.



This week's Red Writing Hood prompt had us writing personal ads for our characters. Click the button above to check out all the amazing responses. 

PS - I totally missed my one-year blogiversary this past week! So have some cake and thanks for sticking around to read my words and watch me grow. Much love!