I am Not a Mommy Blog

The time has finally come! After months of talking and planning and talking some more, my friend Bernie of One Mixed Bag and I have created a new blogging community, a community dedicated solely to bloggers without kids.

For a long time, we've felt that there's been a void in the blogosphere, a void that needed filling. See, there are plenty of communities out there dedicated to Mommies Who Blog, where such bloggers can connect and network and get support, and while Bernie and I both love Mommies Who Blog, we couldn't help but feel like the rest of us (those without kids either by choice or circumstance) needed a community, too. And so, We're Not Mommy Blogs was born.

We're Not Mommy Blogs is a blogging community dedicated to filling the non-mommy void in the blog world. We will host discussions, weekly linkups, and feature guest bloggers. We also offer a directory for bloggers to linkup to permanently and share their blogs. We're a community dedicated to support and friendship, and we hope that you will make many new friends through our platform.

We hope you'll check out We're Not Mommy Blogs and find your place among us non-mommies.

Psst! By the way, We're Not Mommy Blogs is being featured today over at Living on Less for the very first Make a Friend Monday blog hop. Hope you'll stop by and hop around with Michele!

 

My Valentine to Blogs

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Dear Blogs,

I began my affair with you over a year ago now; hard to believe so much, and yet so little, time has passed since that fateful day.

I was a cynical and suspicious fledgling writer. You were foreign to me, a vague concept in a transforming world taken over by social media. I had toyed around with you before, teasing with the idea of starting a relationship with you, but something always stopped me. The fact that I didn’t quite understand you? Perhaps. A lack of courage? Most definitely.

Blogging meant putting myself out there in a way I never had before. It meant sharing feelings I had never shared. It meant revealing a dream, to myself and to others, that I didn’t quite believe in.

I was a chicken. In typical Katie-form, I wondered what everyone would think, agonized on how others might see me. I worried that I wasn’t a good enough writer. I doubted that I had anything to say that people would want to read. But I didn’t let any of that stop me. I saw value in writing a blog. I saw that it might help me improve my writing, that it might help me gain a little confidence.

You’ve given me that confidence; you’ve helped me to improve. Because of you, I now write almost daily, and looking back on posts even from as little as a year ago, I see how I’ve grown. Selfishly, I would jump into this relationship a thousand times again and never regret a moment for how you’ve changed me, for the insight you’ve given me on myself.

But you’ve been so much more than even that. Through you, I’ve made dozens of friends, friends whom I cherish and have made true connections with. I stupidly forget this gift you’ve given me sometimes, the gift of friendship and insight and connection. I tend to overlook these little things that make you so great.

Little things like reading an extraordinary and touching story, bravely shared through friendship and love.

Little things like laughs shared for a great causes and a unique wit, both of which will leave you wishing you could get together with those fellow bloggers and go out for drinks, in a totally non-stalker way.

Little things like communities and friendships built on common interests and transcending barriers like age and location to provide support and encouragement in so many ways.

Little things that let us all know we aren’t alone, in our thoughts and ideas, in our fears and insecurities. For every experience or feeling I have, you’ve shown me there’s someone else out there with a similar experience and almost the exact same feeling.

Little things like witnessing unbelievable passion and love through the eyes of a mother, who said without fear just what I’ve wanted to say all along.

Little things like learning about someone else’s culture or viewpoint, learning that something we may have judged before or misunderstood isn’t so different from us after all.

Little things like witnessing the brilliance of a writer as she grows and fearlessly dives in, reaching out for a dream that is reaching right back for her.

These little things all make up my experiences as a blogger, as a lover of blogs. They are why you make me smile, work harder, and devote much of my free-time to my passion. I couldn’t possibly list the many people and words who have touched me through you, but I did want to devote at least a few of my own words to the difference you’ve made in me and in my life, my perspective, and my  writing.

Thank you, blogs, for being so much more than I ever thought you were.

With love,

Katie

What are some of the things that make you love blogs and blogging?

Author's Note: If you have the time, I encourage you to take the time to click on the links above. They are just a few of the many people and posts that have touched me as a writer and a blogger. I hope they can touch you in the same way. Oh, and this is by no means a complete list of the people and blogs who have influenced me and left me speechless. I wish I could name them all!

This was written for The Lightning and the Lightning Bug prompt: Valentine. 

Where Do Blogs Go When They Die?

Once upon a time, in a land of mommies and marketers, humourists and impeccable cooks and crafters, a Plain Jane without any real talents or purpose started a blog. The blog was named Chicken Noodle Gravy and had humble beginnings as a amateur foodie blog, but soon enough, the restraints of being a specific type of blog became too much for the Plain Jane Blogger to manage. A post or two about writing snuck in and then a post or two about owls and about fellow bloggers and about cats, and gradually, CNG became A Blog With No Identity and found its own unique, one-blog niche among the mommies and marketers and humourists and cooks and crafters.

CNG and her blogger were happy for awhile. Regular posts and participation in various linkies and prompts ensured frequent visitors for the blog and helped the Plain Jane Blogger make many new (and very precious) friends. But, with the passage of time and the onset of some freelance writing assignments, the Plain Jane Blogger began to neglect her relationship with CNG, as well as her other blogger friends, and things became stressed.

When the going got tough, the Plain Jane Blogger got going, and slowly, CNG began to die....

...Which got me to thinking: where do blogs go when they die?

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We've all seen it before. Our favorite blogs suddenly disappear off the face of the interwebz never to be heard from again, or...sometimes worse, the blogger just stops updating. Each time you visit their blog, you hope for a new post, some sign of life, and there's usually nothing. Just an outdated blog and an empty promise that one day the blogger will return.

Well, this Plain Jane Blogger doesn't want that to happen to Chicken Noodle Gravy. I've grown far too fond of this place and the people that it's helped me to discover to just let it die. And so with this year ending and a new one beginning, I'm jumping back on the blog train.

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But I will warn you. I don't follow any of the typical "rules" of blogging, and I probably never will.

I don't keep up with a post schedule of any kind. I post when the mood strikes me, and typically not a moment before because of my lifelong struggle with a disease called procrastination.

I don't post pictures. Especially my own. Look, folks, I suck at photography. You want a photographer? I know a great one, and I can refer you to her, but as far as I go? Yeah, I suck at it. When I'm in the moment, having the time of my life, I never think "PICTURE! Take a picture of this!" Usually, I just live in that moment and enjoy it, and then regret not taking a picture later. That's probably not going to change. I wish I could at least draw some stick-figure re-creations of my life events, but I suck at drawing, too. Yes, even stick figures.

I don't fit in anywhere. I'm myself. I've said it before, and I'll probably say it five thousand times again. CNG has no purpose, and despite what others say about finding your blog "identity" and the importance of having  focus, I don't see a damn thing wrong with that.

I hate rules. I have to follow them everyday at my job. When I get home, when I WRITE, I don't want any rules to follow. That's just me.

So I won't promise that my posting will be frequent or that I will suddenly start taking pictures or that  Chicken Noodle Gravy will ever have a reason for existing, but I will promise that she won't be one of those blogs that just dies. If CNG and I break up, you'll know about it, and she'll be sent to some bloggy afterlife, where she can rest in peace. But until that fateful day, I'll continue to entertain you here with infrequent posting, weird-ass fiction, and googled images.

See ya real soon, blog world, and may your new year be merry and bright!

Author's Note: This was written in response to The Lightning and the Lightning Bug writing prompt: "Year's End." We were supposed to write about whatever the words "Year's End" mean to us. If you'd like, hop on over to check out some great posts from more Lightning Bugs or, even better, to participate yourself. 






Have you ever witnessed the death of a blog? Have you ever had your own blog die on you? What would you like to happen to your blog if/when it dies?

An Honor!!

I don't have much time (as I'm about to return to work for my first day after a week's vacation...boo!), but I just wanted to stop by and tell you guys that I'm guest-posting at one of my favorite blogs today (EEP!!!): Do Sweat the Small Stuff! Sweaty is a dear friend of mine and an awesome blogger and writer. I hope you'll visit and check her out! You won't be sorry!

Thanks, Sweaty, for the honor of guest-posting on your blog!!!

Out of Order: How to Overcome a Writing/Blogging Drought

I feel like I need to hang a sign on Chicken Noodle Gravy's doors. It would read in big red letters:

Out of Order

And it would give readers some sort of indication as to what the heck is going on around these parts. Because something is definitely going on...and that something is defined by the fact that pretty much nothing is going on and how that sucks. 

I'm going through a dry spell; I can admit it. We all have them. I haven't been inspired to write much of anything lately, and so honestly, I haven't written much of anything, even though I know the whole key to overcoming writer's block is writing through it. But what I have written in the last couple of weeks has been drivel and that annoys me. It's annoying enough having to deal with writer's block in the first place, but having to deal with bad writing, too? Well, that's just too much. So instead of writing badly, I just don't write at all.

Not a good answer.

And because I've been so absent as a writer, I'm finding that I'm pretty absent as a reader as well. When I sit down at my laptop to catch up on blog reading or (miracle of miracles) actually WRITE something, I get distracted by things like this:

And like this:

                                                                        Source: thedailytail.com via Katie on Pinterest

Because, I mean, who wouldn't? But getting distracted by cat videos and beautiful horses isn't really getting me anywhere in the whole "become a writer" endeavor that I've taken on, so I'm determined to start "writing through" this...whatever it is. Even if writing through it means I write some really horrible crap, at least I'll be writing something. 

So, in the spirit of overcoming this blog/writing drought I'm in, I'm going to make up some advice for myself and for you, if you choose to follow the advice of some random internet lady who has no idea what she's talking about. 

Without further ado, I bring you: How to Overcome a Writing/Blogging Drought in Ten Five Four Three Easy Steps!*

3) Take a "break" from blogging. This is not to be confused with a break from writing, because that's not accomplishing much of anything. We've been over that. But getting away from your computer and bloggy land might do you some good, might give you a little perspective, and I'm pretty sure that getting out of the house will provide you with better blogging fodder than the view from your couch provides you. Fact: no one can blog about the lint under their husband's recliner or the drink rings on their coffee table and make it sound compelling. True story. 

2) Pick a fight with your husband and/or significant other (like how I added the and/or there? Hey, I don't judge! Whatever floats your love boat, man). Now this particular step is to be handled with care and caution. I don't recommend picking any fights that might end in violence or divorce, because that's not cool, but a tiny little fight over clipping toenails in the kitchen should be allowed. Passion is definitely something that gets the creative juices flowing, and chances are getting a little "het up" will be a great way to open the flood gates o' inspiration. Studies show. 

And the number one way to overcome a writing/blogging drought is:

1) Write! Who cares if you write complete crap that you wouldn't even wipe your tail with? No one will read it, unless you're like me and like sharing everything, so what does it matter? Write a story about that gnat that flew up your nose last week. From the gnat's perspective. Write about how your front porch steps desperately need to be painted. Write a letter to your former arch nemesis with whom you are trying to make amends. It doesn't matter what you write. Just write. Because writing is what you love and without it, you feel a little empty inside and that makes you cry. And no one likes a big cry baby. 

*The author of this blog does not endorse these three easy steps. Follow at your own risk.

There you have it. The end of the Chicken Noodle Gravy Blog Drought of 2011. Now back to your regularly scheduled posts full of awesomeness and killer writing. 

PS ~ I will catch up with my blog reading. Someday. I promise. I miss you guys!

A Blog with No Identity

In a month or so, Chicken Noodle Gravy will be turning one year old. Can you believe it? The last year has flown by. They always grow up so fast, don't they? I mean, it was only yesterday that I was blogging about chicken noodle gravy and spam and all things yummy and good to eat. It's true. For the first eight months or so of Chicken Noodle Gravy's first year, I was a Food Blogger.

As a Food Blogger, I always felt a little stifled, a little trapped by the implications of a LABEL. What if I wasn't in the mood to blog about food one day? What if I wanted to blog about owls or possoms or socks in the door? Plus, just to be completely honest, I sucked as a Food Blogger. I take lousy photos. I never follow a recipe. I can talk about food sure, but let's get real: there are ten thousand other, BETTER food blogs out there, and trying to identify with and label myself and Chicken Noodle Gravy as one of them just wasn't working.

So I dropped the label and blogged about whatever, and CNG became a blog with no identity. Whatever crossed my mind made it to the blog, but even during this period of no label and no identity, I felt lost as a blogger. I didn't have a place. In a world full of Mommy Blogs and Giveaway Blogs and Craft Blogs and Fashion Blogs, CNG seemed to not have any purpose or direction; it didn't fit anywhere.

Source: volvereneevo-templatesblock.blogspot.com via jimtown on Pinterest

And then one day it hit me.

CNG doesn't have to fit anywhere. It doesn't have to be a Food Blog or any other type of blog. The only type of blog it has to be is MY BLOG. Blogging for me isn't about fitting in anywhere or being the most popular or the best blogger out there. Blogging is about recording my thoughts and my stories and my poems. It's about connecting with other people, people who have similar thoughts and worries and people who provide inspiration and motivation and support. It's about connecting with friends. Friends who also don't fit neatly into one category. Friends who have come to mean so much to me in such a short time.

I'm a writer. Quirky and weird and unique. A person not a blogger. Blogging doesn't define me, and it doesn't define my words. It's just a way to record them. Chicken Noodle Gravy is a blog, but more than that, it's a safe harbor for bad days, good days, rough patches, and sunlight. It's the place where I was finally brave enough to share my stories and poems with people outside of my family, people who didn't necessarily have to tell me something was good just because they were related to me.

As you make your way across the so-called blogosphere, you'll see a lot of good advice about blogging identity. Finding your place. Finding your audience. But if you find yourself without an identity or a place or an audience, consider this: maybe blogs are a lot like people. Each one is different and unique. Sometimes they'll fit into an easy category, and sometimes they just won't. Don't force the issue. Be yourself, and let your blog be YOUR BLOG.



This was written in response to Dare to Share Link Up: Blogging Identity. Come join us, link up your blogging identity post, and meet some talented writers!

The Dish featuring Life and Love of a Parrothead

Welcome to this Friday's very late edition of The Dish! This week's Dish is brought to you by Blogger. Thanks for finally rejoining the land of the living, Blogger. Us bloggers sure appreciate it!

I'm super excited about today's featured blog(s) and blogger on The Dish as I've only recently discovered them, and this feature has given me the opportunity to really discover and get to know the wonderfulness that is Breann of Life and Love of a Parrothead. Breann is one of the newest bloggers on my lists of reads, and I’m so glad that I found her. In addition to hearing a great Jimmy Buffett soundtrack in my head every time I visit her blog, she posts fun and interesting entries, and you never really know what to expect when you drop by. Through Life and Love of a Parrothead, Breann shares stories of her family, particularly of the cute little Logan, of her romantic courtship with her husband of six years, and, of course, there's the occasional anecdote (okay, maybe there's just the one, but it's hilarious!) of her history with Livejournal (remember those days?).  And, obviously, much, much more!

Delicious Design

Remember that Jimmy Buffett soundtrack playing in your head? Are you wasting away again yet? Well, the Parrothead reference isn't the only thing that takes you away to the beach after visiting Life and Love of a Parrothead. Yep, Breann’s beautiful blog design reminds me of trips to the ocean almost as much as that lovely blog title does. Her sand dollar logo is absolutely adorable (as you can see from above). And once again the blog featured on The Dish is one with a clean and simple design that compliments the actual content perfectly. Go see now! You'll love it. 

Oh, and one of the cutest and most unique things about Breann's design is her "Cast of Characters" in the right column. It helps to put faces to the names she mentions on her blog frequently. Plus, having her cute little boy and pets staring back at you every time you visit just puts a huge smile on your face. 

Sticks to Your Ribs

One of the best things about Breann? She brings readers TWO great blogs for the price of one! Sticks to Your Ribs is Breann's food-centered blog, where she shares some of the yummiest looking recipes imaginable. Even a quick visit will have your mouth watering, guaranteed!

When did I know I was in love? When I saw a Chicken Salad recipe featured on Sticks to Your Ribs that looked delicious to me...and I happen to hate chicken salad. Anyone who can write about and take pictures of a food that I don't particularly like and make me wanna try it is a total winner in my book! Plus, Breann is excellent about taking great pictures of each step of the recipes she tries. Sure, as a writer, I love to read recipes, but something about just reading recipes without visual aids doesn't do much for me. Sticks to Your Ribs has it all! It's just the kind of food blog I love with recipes and fun anecdotes mixed throughout.



Scrumptious Survey: Questions answered by blogger.

What’s your favorite dish/food?  

I have always loved classic Spaghetti with meat sauce. Over the years it has migrated a bit to meatballs instead, but now and then I will make a rich bolognese sauce and I am always happy I did. When I was pregnant, I would eat any form of spaghetti I could get my hands on! 

What’s your favorite type of cuisine (Italian, French, etc.)?

 Even after all that talk of spaghetti, I could still eat Tex-Mex 3 meals a day. Huevos Rancheros for breakfast followed by Enchiladas for lunch and Fajitas for dinner? YES PLEASE! Living in Houston gives me access to wonderful Mexican food so I have ended up with my go to places for certain dishes. 

What is unique about the cuisine in your part of the world? 

Houston is awesome because you not only have access to classic Southern food, but to every type of food from all around the world. Authentic Chinese food (not that buffet mess!), Indian, Lebonese, Korean... Name it and we can hop in the car and go eat it. Seriously, come visit and I can take you to eat anything from the best Chicken Fried Steak to Vietnamese food that will knock your socks off.

Sweet or salty?

Sweet. Always. Usually in the form of a chocolate chip cookie. 

What food are you craving right now? 

Huevos Rancheros as a matter of fact! HA!

Do you like to cook? If so, do you ever share recipes on your blog?

 I love to cook. Before I had Logan, I would delve into very complicated recipes on the weekends like Julia's Bouef Bourginon. But now that's a little more difficult. I cook at least 5 days a week, usually simple meals like stir fry or a cassarole. If I do something bigger it's always on a Saturday or Sunday night so that I have the time and Lee can watch the baby. I have a food blog that is linked under "Recipes" on my main blog. I generally don't make my own recipes, other than throwing things together sometimes. But I love to cook other's and give them credit. 

Where do you get the recipes you use? From cookbooks, blogs, online directories, etc? 

All of the above. Although Lee did ask me once if everything we ate was Pioneer Woman! Food Network is my go-to when I search for a recipe. I even try recipe's from other blogs all the time. 

What food-related word would you use to describe your blog? (i.e. salty, sweet, savory, delicious, yummy…) Get creative!

 Appetizing - or at least I hope everyone thinks so! 

Trust me on this: Both of Breann's blogs are VERY appetizing, and I hope you'll take a hint and go over and visit already. You're missing out! Hope you enjoyed this edition of the Dish. I've got to be going now...I'm getting ready to waste away in Margaritaville. If only I could find that lost shaker of salt....

 

Nothing To Say

It's been about a year. A wonderful, dream-at-least-partially-coming-true year since a friend from college asked me to submit a couple of trial columns to run in my local newspaper. I remember bouncing around the room with excitement after reading her email, squealing the news to my husband at the top of my lungs, galloping across the house and traumatizing my cats in the process as they fled under every available surface seeking cover from the insane, giant cat lady. Then I remember the immediate crash, the paralyzing fear that coursed through my veins when the implications sank in, the implications of submitting something of my own creation from my own crazy brain and for public consumption, nonetheless, to an actual newspaper editor who would actually critique my work. Sending the first column very nearly made me puke.

After about a month of being a "guest columnist," my byline was changed to "columnist." I couldn't believe my good fortune, and the columns were such a pleasure to write! It seemed that I had endless ideas for new articles, and for those first couple of months, I hardly ever struggled with a topic. Then self-doubt came a-calling. I began to fear that I would run out of things to say. How could I possibly maintain new and refreshing topics for a weekly column? How could I, boring nerd-girl from boring-ville with no real story to tell, keep coming up with interesting and thought-provoking things to say? And more importantly, why would anyone want to read what I had to write?

Self-doubt's a bitch.

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Thankfully, I haven't run out of things to say yet. Although, I will sit at my computer sometimes on Sunday nights (I send my columns then so they'll be there for the editor on Monday morning) and think "Oh, my God" I have absolutely nothing to say. I'll sit for hours just staring. I'll surf the web, grasping for inspiration. I'll walk around. I'll eat a snack. I'll beg my husband for ideas. I'll do anything and everything just to hatch some inspiration. And somehow, magically we'll say because I don't know how the hell else it works, I always seem to land on something, sometimes just a partially formed thought that I have to hammer out and slave over to transform into a 600-word column befitting for anyone to actually read. No idea where this stuff comes from, but I can always seem to pull something out of my butt at the very last minute....let's hope that continues, because my column is my therapy, my joy, my real-world connection to what I want to do with my life. I would hate for my creativity to run dry and to lose it over something stupid like "writer's block."

Today self-doubt came for another visit, seems she sort of likes it around here...probably because I buy into her tricks so easily. This time she visited the blog. She taunted me, teased me, made me think that I had nothing else to say or share with my readers. She led me to believe that what I wrote wasn't as interesting or as engrossing as other bloggers and had me scrambling for my purpose and footing in bloggyland. Then I decided to draw inspiration from the bitch herself, to write about how I hate her and how I wish I could stamp away feelings of inadequacy and doubt. A little self-doubt is okay I guess; it can even inspire. The trick is to never let that doubt consume or define you. Just so me and self-doubt are clear, I decided I'd write an open letter to her, just letting her know how I feel about her "nothing to say" theory.

Dear Self-Doubt,

You obviously don't know me very well, so allow me to introduce you to me. I'm a talker. I always seem to have something to say, some stray thought running through my brain...having nothing to say doesn't really register on my radar. I even get on people's nerves I talk so much sometimes, but that's okay because that's who I am. 

I'm also an observer. I watch and then I write about what I watched. I find inspiration in the tiniest of places and run with it. I'll write about my observations and experiences, and if ever I find those observations or experiences lacking, I'll let my imagination take over and write a tall tale about origami birds flying in a seer-sucker sky. 

I won't run out of things to say, and I will continue to write until I die, because it's what I love to do and it's who I am...in spite of everything and in spite of you.

Bite me.

Sincerely,
Katie 

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." - Sylvia Plath