Windows and Doors and Hope Rekindled

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Everything happens for a reason. Or so they say.

From the time we're old enough to know true disappointment, it's repeated to us like a mantra, a lulling pacifier designed to sugarcoat failure and despair.

It's a sentiment that wears many hats.

There's the standard: Well, everything happens for a reason.

The educational: Must be a lesson in there somewhere. 

The hopeful: When one door closes, another opens. Or the variation: When a door closes, a window opens.

The romantic: There's plenty of fish in the sea.

The religious: God works in mysterious ways.

Whether it's uttered to soothe the wounds of unrequited love, the smarting ache of a hard-learned lesson, or the tormenting letdown of a wish unfulfilled, we've all heard the phrase and its many cousins. We've all experienced disappointment, unanswered prayers, and the like. That's life, as they say. Whoever they are.

In the midst of sorrow and defeat, it's a hard thing to hear. I suppose it's difficult to see how something positive could come from something negative. At least in that moment it is.

I've lived through one of those moments recently. The worst of the disappointment has passed, though I still have times where I want to scream "why!?!?" at the top of my lungs. I think, for the most part, I'm now at a point where I'm looking towards the future, wondering what windows and doors are hanging open, waiting for me to step through.

I've never been a terribly patient person. I want things to happen NOW. Waiting until Christmas to buy that new bauble that caught my eye? Not gonna happen. Waiting to adopt a new cat until "cat fever" has left, and I'm thinking straight again? Nope, not me. Waiting to get to know a little better the man I met online only months ago before I marry him? Nah, it'll all work out.

I'm just not a wait-and-see kind of girl. So waiting to see what kinds of new opportunities might be just beyond the horizon is not really my cup of tea. But you know what? There's a lesson to be learned here. Don't they also say that good things come to those who wait? 

Patience, Katie. Patience.

So, I sit and wait and hope, hope, hope. Because everything happens for a reason, and for everything there is a season. And y'all, my season has always been fall.

Here's to windows and doors and hope rekindled.

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Falling In and Out of Love

Writing is not my best friend today. It was yesterday, my source of comfort and joy, passion and fulfillment. Today, it represents only pain and frustration, and as I scramble to get it back to good, I am forced to reevaluate our relationship and look at exactly where we stand.

An inevitable part of writing is hitting roadblocks. Lack of inspiration. Particularly harsh criticism. Self-doubt.

The key is to push through those roadblocks and continue on this bumpy journey, never giving in and never giving up.

This week, I hit a roadblock. This week, I wanted to give up.

Part of freelancing, I'm learning, is writing on topics I'm not particularly interested in. I'm given an assignment, and I write on that assignment, regardless of my feelings on the subject. I always want to connect with my subjects, but it's unrealistic to expect that I will be passionate about everything I write.

Until recently, I had that expectation.

When I'm passionate about something, my writing improves exponentially. This is probably no big surprise to anyone and may be true for most everyone, but it's true for me just the same.

I am a machine fueled by passion and love and feelings so strong that sometimes my heart just can't contain them all. So those feelings spill freely and uncensored from my fingertips, splashing onto the page like impossibly bright drops of paint, filling that blank canvas with ideas and characters and just the right words.

When my passion is on empty, the machine slows, choking and sputtering and tripping on every word.

This leaves me at a crossroads. To live the dream and get paid to write, I'll inevitably have to write on subjects of little interest to me.

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My husband says to write on those subjects I'll need to apply everything I know about writing, everything I've learned over the years and write from my head instead of my heart. For these assignments, I'll need to look at writing as more of a science instead of an art. I'm not a particularly methodical kind of writer. I feel the words, and I write them.

I don't outline.

I don't brainstorm.

I just write. Just writing has been the only thing I know and understand.

But now, at this crossroads, at this point of looking at writing as more of a profession and less of a hobby, I have to change gears. In order to produce the best work possible, I need to learn a whole slew of new skills.

How to interview. How to ask the right questions, get the right answers. How to inspire my contacts to give me the best quotes possible.

How to work with someone else's words. How to insert those words seamlessly into my own words and make the entire piece flow like water.

How to brainstorm. How to outline. How to draft. How to read an editor's mind and know exactly what they need from an assignment. How to give them what they need.

Relationships change. That's just part of life, I guess. But do I want my relationship with writing to change?

When I first met Jeremy, I tried to talk him into going to culinary school. He loved to cook, so my natural assumption was that he would also love to cook for a living. But he balked at that idea, citing the fact that he didn't want to make cooking into work. It was a passion for him, something he loved to do, and he didn't want the stigma that comes with "working" to change that passion.

At the time, I didn't understand. If you could do something you loved for a living, why wouldn't you? It seemed simple to me.

Today, I understand him and his reasons a little better. Today, my passion has changed.

Can I separate the two sides of myself that have a relationship with writing? Can I keep my passion and keep my work?

As a child, I loved the beach. I wanted to move to the coast and live there forever. When I voiced this dream, my parents always said, "Katie, if you lived there all the time, just like anything else, you'd get tired of it. It wouldn't be as special."

And I guess that's just it. I don't want writing to become living at the beach.



Author's Note: I want to be clear that I'm happy about having the opportunity to write for pay. After a bad week with freelancing, I'm just taking a moment to look at what that means for me and how that may change my relationship with writing. 
How do you feel about mixing work and play? Would freelance writing change the way you feel about creative writing?

Where You're Going

My husband’s college acceptance letter came in the mail last Thursday. When I got home from work, he was standing at the door waiting on me, our three cats winding in and out of his legs, a huge grin on his face. The grin was infectious. For a moment, we just stood in the kitchen, grinning at each other like idiots. After exchanging our hellos, I asked him what in the world was up, and he just smiled and handed me the unopened letter. The words Jacksonville State University were printed as the return address, and I knew immediately that this was a good letter.

He confided to me later that he was a little nervous at first. In his experience, college acceptance packages came in thick envelopes crammed with information about the school: orientation, registration, and financial aid. The thin envelopes were always bad news. But not this time.

We opened the letter together, and the first thing our eyes landed on was the slogan “Where You’re Going” printed on a bumper sticker. I’ll never forget that moment. We both hollered our hoorays, grabbing onto each other in a clumsy, hopping hug. This was the beginning of our future, a first day of the rest of our lives. Thankfully, there are many days like that in life, days that ring out with success and promise and hope.

We still haven’t come down from our college acceptance high. Jeremy has big plans after completing his four-year degree, and while there have been roadblocks and detours along the way, he’s never given up on making it happen.

I’m a firm believer of making dreams come true. For the longest time, when I first graduated college, I had given up on my own dream of becoming a writer. It seemed so out of reach, as I sat at home and searched ad after ad for a freelance writing or editing gig. Most of the ads were far from home, and as a family girl with a good sense of my roots, I wasn’t quite willing to travel far away for a job. The jobs that were within in reach required experience that I just didn’t have. It seemed like to break out in the writing world I only needed a chance, but chances, it turned out, were hard to come by.

Just when I had all but given up on my dream, several years after my college graduation, an opportunity presented itself. The opportunity came in the form of a weekly local column, and to this day, it remains the best gift I have ever received. This column led to another first day of the rest of my life. When I saw my name in print for that first “official” time, I knew that at least part of my dream had finally come true. And from the column, so many more dreams were realized; so many more dreams took flight.

I now have my own blog. Not a huge accomplishment but one that I cherish. Chicken Noodle Gravy provides a chance to connect with my readers and an opportunity to write every day. Since I began this web journal over a year ago, I have seen my own writing improve and grow.

I’ve been published in the fabulous regional magazine West Georgia Living. I’ve actually had the opportunity to work on real freelance assignments, to research and build a story from next to nothing. The entire experience has been amazing.

Dreams are easy to give up on. The older we get, the easier it becomes. But giving up on a dream means we could miss out on so much. I might have missed out on meeting so many new people, on reconnecting with friends from my past, on finally earning a dollar for my words, and so much more. Jeremy might have missed out on that college acceptance letter, that key to our future which will undoubtedly open the door to many dreams to come. 

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Where are you going? What dreams do you never give up on in your life? 


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Standing Still: a Reflection on Success

                                                                               Source: google.com via Kari on Pinterest

The world rushes by in a blur, and I have to sit down because the movement makes me dizzy. I've always been susceptible to motion sickness, but I've never let it stop me from moving forward. Looking around, I see success. Success and promise for the future. People making their dreams come true, one step at a time. It's a true joy to see that. To see friends taking giant leaps towards their happiness. To see that happiness on their faces and in their smiles.

But what is success? That's a question that's been weighing on my mind a lot lately, as I look at my own life, my career, and towards my future. Sometimes, the world rushes by so quickly that you feel like you might be standing still. You may look at yourself and still see where you were five or even ten years ago and think, is this it? You may stare at those around you and wonder...why not me? It's a natural feeling. It's a feeling that, I think, we all have from time to time...myself included.

I'm twenty-eight years old. Young still, I know. But when I graduated from college six years ago, this is not where I imagined myself to be. Graduating on that December day so many years ago, I foolishly thought things would be easy. I thought I would graduate and start writing for a living right away. I thought I would finish a novel and have it published. I thought I would be a best-selling novelist by now.

But did I think those things? Was I ever really that naive?

When I chose to be an English major in college, surely I didn't believe that a career in writing would ever be simple. Back then, I can even remember joking with my parents and my friends that I wanted to be a starving artist when I grew up. So surely I understood that writing was some kind of a pipe dream, a happily ever after scenario that might never come true...

But I was younger then, and Lord knows, I was idealistic, a dreamer, so maybe I didn't know. Maybe I didn't understand that I would have to have a day job to keep things going, to keep food on the table. Maybe I didn't realize that success in the writing world would have to be measured in baby steps, in a barely perceptible movement forward that would eventually, hopefully move me forward. Maybe I just didn't know that sometimes I would move so slowly towards my goal that it would seem I was standing still.

For some, success might appear to come easy. You might blink and see them already winners in life...even though only a few seconds have passed. For others, success may come slow. It make take its own sweet time arriving at their door. But the fact of the matter is that success doesn't come easy or slow to anyone. As Marva Collins says, "Success doesn't come to you...you go to it."

You may take baby steps to reach it, and you may take giant leaps of faith. You may find your own success in the smile of your spouse or child, in the warmth of your home and the food on your table. You may see success in the pride you take in a job well done or in the support of the parents who love you so much.

What is success?

To me, success is writing everyday. It's loving words and breathing through the characters and stories that form on a page. It's being part of an amazing relationship full of warmth and laughter. It's the dreams that an eight year-old, then seventeen year-old, then twenty-two year-old, and now twenty-eight year-old girl just won't let go of.

Success is around me everyday, and it's always there...whether I'm moving or standing still.


How do you measure success?
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Goth Girl Gets Published

Reputations. They're pretty funny sometimes, especially when you're not really sure where they came from. Of course, I can't pretend I'm completely clueless about my own reputation for being a bit "gothic." I do have an inkling of an idea as to where my name Goth Girl originated (thanks, Brooke!). It all started over a discussion on Johnny Depp. You see, I'm a huge Johnny Depp fan. Always have been, always will be. I like him 'cause he's pretty, obviously, but more importantly, I like him for his style and attitude and for the fact that he's different. You may recall that I'm different...maybe even a little weird. So I'm drawn to people who don't fit into any particular mold.

Yummy.

My love for Johnny led to a natural assumption that I loved pirates, which obviously meant that I should love vampires, and so on and so forth. And so Goth Girl was born. Look, I do have a love for the darker things in life. I'll admit it. I'm kind of morbid that way. And, usually, so is my writing.

Which leads me to the true point of this post: I'm getting published. Again. Again, you ask? Katie, you mean to tell us that you've been published before? Well, yes and no. My story "A Shame About Mrs. James' New Colonial Blue Carpet" (long title, short story) appeared in the now defunct literary journal Southern Gothic. So, yes, for awhile, I was published, but now, since that journal no longer exists, I'm not. Because, you see, Southern Gothic was an online literary journal, so it's not like I have copies of the journal laying around at home. Nope, it's gone and so is my published story and by-line. (Here's proof that it actually existed, but if you'll notice the link to the actual journal now belongs to a psychic service (sad, sad): http://www.storysouth.com/comment/2007/01/southern_gothic_online_and_in.html

(Oh, and my short story "The Beauty of a Sno-Cone Stand" was published in a local magazine called West Georgia Living, which is also nothing to sneeze at, but I don't know if I can officially "count" that as it's for local talent, so anyway...)

Back to present, no use crying over formerly published and now no longer published stories. The thing I'm focusing on now is my current Literary Journal Journey, which has already paid off! A couple of weekends ago I submitted my short story "One Mississippi" to an online literary journal called Muscadine Lines: A Southern Journal, and within a few days, I had a response--

Hi Katie,


I would love to publish your story "One Mississippi" in the next issue of Muscadine Lines: A Southern Journal. Thanks so much for your interest in MLASJ and best wishes with your writing!


--This led to a lot of happy dancing and squealing and scaring of cats and then some celebratory Champagne drinking (one of you once told me to celebrate the small victories, so I did :)) . Now, as far as I can tell, literary journals are kind of a first step in way of getting published. The more my name appears in print, the more my work is published and consumed, the better chances I have of having a book published. Maybe. At least that's what I'm telling myself. So, keep your fingers crossed! Goth Girl is making her dreams come true one step at a time.

If you'd like to read "A Shame About Mrs. James' New Colonial Blue Carpet," let me know. It's pretty dark, and up until recently, I've avoided showing bloggy land my dark side, but it's my blog, and it's who I am, so what the heck!

The Dish featuring The Fancy Flea

Sometimes an image comes along that is so perfect and moving that you feel like you could reach inside and become a part of it. With this week's featured blog, this kind of image comes along often. Visiting daily will make you feel like you've blessed with a fabulous gift, the gift of being able to gush, drool, and dream over the lovely photographs of Lauren, author of The Fancy Flea. 

But The Fancy Flea, and Lauren, are both much more than just a pretty face (or pretty pictures). This is a wonderfully diverse blog with wonderfully diverse posts and an obviously kind-hearted and passionate author. When I visit, I never know what's going to be in store, but I always know it's going to be superb and probably make me either smile or drift off into dream-land or both.


Delicious Design


Soft, feminine, and simple: three words that come to mind when you visit The Fancy Flea. Lauren's kept the design of her blog very minimalistic and...well, there's no other word for it but pretty. The layout and background are both perfect to showcase the beautiful photography she posts.


I always feel so relaxed and happy after I check out The Fancy Flea. I just can't help but love the look and the feel of the blog. There's something about it that makes it stand out from other blogs (and not just because it's WordPress hosted and so many blogs are blogger hosted); it's just different and nice. Never the same ol', same ol'. But don't take my word for it, check it out yourself and see what I mean!


Appetizing Content
So there's probably no way I can ever say enough about the photography of The Fancy Flea. No possible way. These aren't typical photos; they're unique and different and usually make you think. They're art, and yet, they're not high-brow, over-your-head art. They're realistic, familiar, everyday images that are anything but ordinary. But again, I could never really say enough about the photography of The Fancy Flea, so I'll share some links to some of my favorite posts/images:


For Katie  (of course this would be one of my favorite posts, beautiful images of a darling edition of Black Beauty)


'Neath the Orange Tree (one of the first posts I read/viewed at The Fancy Flea...breathtaking photos of a picnic beneath an orange tree)


56/365 (the photographer calls this "the quickest photo" she's ever taken. Sometimes it only takes a moment to create something beautiful)


Honestly, there's so many more it isn't funny. Go through The Fancy Flea older entries pages...it's like a gold mine of prettiness!


Oh, and The Fancy Flea isn't just about photography. Lauren also shares great recipes, funny and sweet stories, and this girl and her hubby have the most beautiful and fabulous picnics ever. One thing I look for in a great blog is how varied and versatile the blogger is. I don't like one trick ponies, and The Fancy Flea is most definitely NOT a one trick pony. 

Scrumptious Survey : Filled out by Blog Author

What’s your favorite dish/food?

I am a huge fan of stirfries and curry.

What’s your favorite type of cuisine (Italian, French, etc.)?

I have two - my favourite type of food from a specific region would have to be Asia. The aromatic herbs and spices get me every time! My other favourite "type" of cuisine at the moment is Vegetarian - discovering new ways of cooking is so much fun.

What is unique about the cuisine in your part of the world?

I live in Australia, and as most people know we're a young country of migrants and settlers. There is such a diverse range of food, and such different cultural influences combining together to make a very colourful cuisine!

Sweet or salty?
Sweet! I have an insatiable sweet tooth!

What food are you craving right now?

My Mum's spicy pumpkin and lentil hotpot. I could make it but it wouldn't be the same as her making it for me!" :P

Do you like to cook? If so, do you ever share recipes on your blog?

I love to cook. I inherited it from my Mum. And yes, i share recipes on The Fancy Flea!

Where do you get the recipes you use? From cookbooks, blogs, online directories, etc?

I have an ever-growing collection of recipe books, but also gather inspiration from magazines, other blogs and www.taste.com.au

What food-related word would you use to describe your blog? (i.e. salty, sweet, savory, delicious, yummy…) Get creative

Experimental! Life is too short to not try new things :)

I'm a gusher; it's true. But I only gush about things that I'm totally passionate about. I hope you'll wander over to The Fancy Flea to see what all the GUSH is about. 

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